The Amazingly short Adventures of Shippo!
by Kotiya
Summary: Everyone is sooo hungry! (Except Sango and Miroku, they get to hang out with me at the buffet) Can the Adorable Shippo find food before Kagome and Inuyasha strangle eachother?
1. Precious Ramen! Nooooooo!

The Amazing[ly short] Adventures of Shippo!  
  
Originally the Super Shippo parody... but... I'm not creative enough to make it a full fledged parody.  
  
Greetings, conveniently placed and above all _friendly_ audience! :::ducks wildly at freak hurled tomatoes::: Good aim o.O  
:::Ahem::: So then . . . I don't own InuYasha (yet). But I will. One day. Sooooon. And Fluffy will be mine! Muahahahaha! :::stumbles::: :::sweatdrop::: Eh... heheh... For now, they belong to their respective creator (namely Rumiko Takahashi). -__-;;  
  
Also, I use various symbols to replace italics, since I am too uhh... okay I don't know how. I mean, to translate everything to html. Hey, Gundamn Wings fanfiction writers do it all the time. Thought is indicated with "/". Stressed words, with "__"  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a bright and sunny day in the land of... uhh... Japan hundred of years ago.  
Audience: "That's _Feudal_, moron!"  
:::sweat drop::: Uhh, right. Anyway, Kagome and Inuyasha were fighting over the last bowl of instant noodles.  
  
"You hanyou mutt! Stop being such a selfish pig! You can go out and hunt something down, this is all I have left!" Kagome was yanking on InuYasha's ears.  
  
"Ow! You stupid girl, I can't go out and hunt because I have to stay here and protect your sorry ass!" Inuyasha was dragging Kagome behind him with each step, heading for the precious ramen. "I need food so I can fight and find more jewel shards, you don't even do anything!"  
  
Kagome, in a fury, seeing her efforts were being ignored, made a final effort to stop the hanyou.  
  
"SIT!"  
  
Inuyasha plummeted in to the ground . . . very inconveniently onto the instant noodles.  
  
"Inuyasha, you pig!" Kagome gasped. Inuyasha was growling various profanities through a mouthful of dirt while peeling himself off the forest floor.  
  
"Way to go Kagome, now what am I going to eat?"  
  
"All you ever think about is yourself! Now we have to go find food since you got us lost and I can't go back through the well!"  
  
Shippo watched this go on for a while. "It never occurs to them to just go to a nearby village and buy something to eat," the adorable fox-boy sighed. Then he found his own stomach starting to growl, and decided he should go find food himself. _These_ two would go on for days.  
  
Kagome: No we would not!  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, who gave you the right to control us in such volatile ways! We're only fighting like this because you're sick, twisted, and perverted!  
  
Me: Please, I prefer to be referred to as just plain evil ^.^  
  
Kagome and Inuyasha: :::Glower:::  
  
Kagome: Could you have at least let us sample the buffet table before we started?  
  
Me: No, your hunger has to be realistic.  
  
Miroku: Hey, you guys sure are missing out on a lot.  
  
Sango: Yeah! I never knew your mom could make sushi so good, Kotiya!  
  
Me: :::grinning::: Just wait till you try some of the rice soup.  
  
Miroku and Sango: Korean food is the best!  
  
Hehehe. Sorry, I'm really hungry. Actually I'm not, I just want some chicken... does KFC deliver? .-_-..  
  
Kagome and Inuyasha: :::whimper:::  
  
Kagome: Aren't there some sort of labor rights being violated here?  
  
Me: Hey, keep your mouths shut. I am armed with fourteen different erasers, including the dreaded _kneaded gum_!  
  
Kagome: :::GASP!!:::  
  
Inuyasha: You wouldn't dare!  
  
Me: Wouldn't I? ::evil grin::  
  
Kagome and Inuyasha pout, and reluctantly return to their quarrel.  
  
*:::laughs wildly::: this whole thing is so funny in Simple text. I recommend those of you who have it, have the computer speak your own stories to you. Those "^" things are pronounced "Carrot". Hehehehe. Carrot! Aiy, I am amused far too easily.*  
  
Oooooh I'm going to hear it in a "trinoid" voice.  
...  
. . .  
Heheh, sounds like one of those voices on the radio on Saturday nights.  
  
:::ahem::: back to the story. Our adorable hero Shippo is skipping along through the woods.  
  
Shippo: (he's fallen asleep) ::snooore::  
  
Uhhh... ::prods him with long stick:: Psst, Shippo  
  
Shippo: Huh..? Oh right! ::starts to skip cutely along through the woods::  
  
^.^ so cute!  
  
Oh my, it seems we are cut short for time (not really, but... I want to do my other story now -_-;; ).  
  
Will Shippo be able to find food in time? (Eg, before Kagome and Inuyasha pair up and ambush the authoress and take all of her food.) (Ooooo, yummy, cheesecake!) Will he use his clever little head, and just simply buy some food from any of the surrounding villages? Or will he stumble upon the secret location of our lovely and massive buffet table?  
  
Sango: I hope so, there's a bag of giant marshmallows with Shippo's name all over them.  
  
Me: Yeah, I was a little bored with the permanent marker this morning... ^-^;;  
  
All this, and more, [probably] revealed in the coming episode [chapter!] of the Amazing[ly short] Adventures of Shippo! 


	2. Giant and Flying and Orange, oh my!

*I must warn you in advance, it's going to take a while until we get to the story...It's late, and... we're all out of strawberry jelly! :::sob:::* Yeah, that IS my only excuse...  
  
I am a young girl with a deteriorated sanity! You wouldn't sue me, would you? :::Dragging Inuyasha characters along with her:::  
  
InuYasha: "Argh! She's crazy, please save us! Who knows what sick and twisted stories she'll make us do!?"  
  
Miroku: "Hmmm... sick and twisted, as in perverted?" :::Smiles widely::: "I think I'll like this, manipulation is so kin--"  
  
:::He is cut short by six hands and fists:::  
  
Me, counting to myself:"Huh, there's only five of you around him, where's that sixth hand mark from?" :::looks over at theatre janitor Keith::: (hehe, inside joke)  
  
Theatre Janitor Keith: "Eh.." :::he shrugs shoulders:::  
  
Uhh... anyway . . . :::makes big-eyed pleading chibi face, tears and huge pupils and all::: "You wouldn't break a little psycho girl's heart and deny her the ownership of such adorable and cuddly and :::fondling Sesshoumaru's lush tail::: _fluffy_ play toys, would you??"  
  
Rumiko Takahashi makes a disapproving groan...  
  
:::pouts and crosses arms::: "Fine then. But that doesn't mean I am still not molesting Fluffy!"  
  
:::Sesshoumaru::: O_O "Please! Help me!" :::Struggles frantically in evil horny girl's deathgrip::: :::Passes out finally:::  
  
Me: "Aww, he's so cute when he's unconscious and vulnerable . . . I know! He can hang out with us at the buffet table! Psst, Miroku, spike the punch for me, eh?"  
  
Miroku: ^.^ "I'm way ahead of you."  
  
Sango, stumbling around, her cheeks red and her eyes half closed: "That was some good punch . . . Hey, Miroku, you have the same name as that guy from Iron Town (off of Princess Mononoke)(can't resist...), I just realized that. He's all stubble, though, that's what I like about you, you're soft and hairless . . ."  
  
Miroku, blushing: "I never really thought it would work, but hey, what do you know..." :::makes a giant eager leap at Sango, thinking he will finally get his chance:::  
  
!!SLAM!!  
  
Miroku, in a corner, plastered against the wall, with bright red hand print across silky soft hairless face. Sango, acting as if nothing happened, partakes in a feast of cheesecake. Besides the fact she is drunk...  
  
Me: :::sweatdrop::: "Poor Miroku... but, at least we have each other, right Sesshy?"  
  
Sesshoumaru: "Uunghh... this has to be a nightmare..."  
  
Me: "You're sooo cute Sesshy! Okay, Shippo, ready for action?" (I'll bet all of you were just waiting for me to finally get on with the story ^-^)  
  
Shippo, teetering on the edge of the punch bowl, wiiiiide smile on his face.  
  
Numerous [and conscious] people: "Shippo get away from there!"  
  
Shippo, plopping into the bright red punch: "Bad juice, no good to drink... ::hiccup::..."  
  
-_-;; At least I can use Miroku as a scapegoat for this...  
  
Uh, anyway. Shippo was skipping along adorably (actually he's passed out, Naraku is puppeteering him with strings from above. Hey, you are really good at that.)  
  
Naraku: "Thanks."  
  
Hey, look, there's a river. Shippo's a fox, foxes are good at fishing. Yuummm, trout.  
  
Shippo leaps merrily (actually, Naraku kinda throws him in hehe) into the sparkling river.  
  
Shippo, sputtering water and coughing: "Hey, what's the big idea?"  
  
God (hehehe): You're fishing. You like fish. Fish is good.  
  
Shippo: "Oh heheh, right. Come here, little fishies!!"  
  
Uh... is it just me or has this chapter turned out to be a script instead of a good little story? -_-;; Sorry...  
  
Unfortunately for Shippo, the trout were not just ordinary trout. That's right, they had... shards of the Shikon jewel! Hey, I have a good reason for it, really!  
  
Random skeptical Inuyasha characters: Uh-huh...  
  
Really! Naraku dropped some of his shards into the river while manipulating Shippo with strings from above!  
  
Naraku: Damn.  
  
Anyway, the fish ate the shards thinking they were food, and now they're big, orange, and flying.  
  
Inuyasha: -_-' Orange, eh?  
  
Miroku: -_-' Flying, you say?  
  
Hey, what gives? _You're_ supposed to be fighting with Kagome, and _you're_ supposed to be enjoying the food I've generously prepared.  
  
Miroku: I thought this was delivery you paid for with the money you got pawning your ex's stereo system.  
  
-_-;; Just eat...  
  
"Aaaahhh! They're going to eat me!!!" Shippo wailed, running out of the river with his arms flailing wildly. The giant orange fish rose up from the water, gaping mouths opening and closing humorously. (I dunno, something about fish mouths when they open and close for no reason just cracks me up.) Two fish cut him off, and he was surrounded. In a panic, he brought down a stone statue onto each one of them and cowered in an adorable little fluff ball, waiting to be attacked.  
  
...  
  
......  
  
Shippo looked up at the fish, that were now normal trout (kind of squashed under statues, but there are normal fish under there). Apparantly, the statues forced the jewel shards out of their bellies, and now Shippo was encircled with seven pretty pale purple shards.  
  
Naraku: Uhhh... can I have those back?  
  
No, you may not.  
  
Naraku: :::whimper::: (yes, a whimper. Behold, my mighty power!)  
  
Shippo, laughing and dancing around in a gleeful ritual, collected the jewel shards and made the statues disappear to gather the fish as well, into a leaf he turned into a net. He skipped merrily back into the woods with fish and shards in tow, to rub in Inuyasha's face his little haul.  
  
Inuyasha and Kagome were leaning on eachother, worn out from fighting for two hours straight--  
  
Inuyasha: No, we're too weak to stand because we haven't eaten in three days, thanks to _you_!  
  
Kagome: I refuse to work like this! I'm suing!  
  
But... I was only trying to make a good story... *sniff*  
  
Inuyasha: What are you talking about, you little masochist??  
  
:::growling::: Fine, have it your way. I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to blackmail. You two aren't uttering a peep, Inuyasha, I saw what you were doing to Miroku when you thought he was Kagome!  
  
Kagome: Whaa?  
  
Inuyasha: You wouldn't dare tell anyone that!  
  
Muahaha. You're stuck with me.  
  
Kagome: I still don't know what's to stop me, _I'm_ the one who wants to sue, baka!  
  
Uhhh... I'll take away your sit privileges!  
  
Kagome: You can't do that!  
  
I know... nothing is to stop you... except this flamethrower! Bwahahaha!  
  
Kagome: Aaaiii! Inuyasha help me!!  
  
Inuyasha: It was dark! How could I tell it was Miroku!?  
  
And thus ends Shippo's incredibly short adventure!  
  
Shippo: Hey, can I have a hand here Kotiya?  
  
Sure thing little buddy! :::Uses flamethrower to quickly cook fish:::  
  
Shippo: Thanks! [Munch munch muuunch]  
  
Kagome: Aaaaiii! She's going to roast me alive!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Okay, actually it's not the end of our furry orange hero's cool adventures, I don't have the heart to end so soon! Stick around for more Shippo adventures! On uhh... other separate stories... I'm finished with this one.... 


End file.
